If You Didn’t Have Any Problems…..

Years ago I worked with a gentleman by the name of Bob Feeney.  Typically when people would start to complain about the problems in their work day Bob would respond with:

“If you didn’t have any problems, you wouldn’t have any business.”

When you grow your business you are bound to have more problems.  When you deal directly with the public you are more than likely going to have problems.  The trick is to not have repeat problems.  Most of all, treat each problem with respect.  Your reputation will grow based on your ability to resolve the issues that come up.  Grow your business by managing your problems.

Perspective

Bill Nowlin passed away this week.  He was forty one years old and had lived with brain cancer for the past two years.  My last conversation with Bill was humbling and will stay with me for the remainder of my life.

Despite having known Bill for multiple years it turns out that I really didn’t know him well.  After being diagnosed, Bill started a blog so that he could keep friends and family posted as to his treatments and other life stuff.  I subscribed and as I was reading his profile it turns out that we both shared an interest in the books written by Janet Evonovich.  It would have never dawned on me that another guy would find the tales of Stephanie Plum to be of interest but we both did.  I contacted Janet and she was kind enought to sign a book for Bill which I was able to personally deliver to him at home.  Despite ongoing treatments and a recent surgery, Bill was able to spend about ninety minutes with me in his yard talking.

As the conversation progressed and our thoughts turned to our sons, it was me that expressed a level of frustration with something that we had in common.  Bill and I had talked about this topic many times in the past and it was one that was sensitive and emotional for us both.  That day was different.  Instead of getting worked up Bill became visibly calm.  Almost serene.  It stopped me in mid sentence.  What came next was not expected.  Bill summarized our past conversations and asked “with all that has been said about this problem, what have we accomplished?”  He went on to share his experiences with cancer and how it had changed his perspective on the things around him.  On life in general.  It boiled down to focusing on what we had and that it was still good and that despite it not being perfect there was pleasure and satisfation to be found. 

I was uncomfortable with this perspective.  Not because I thought that Bill was wrong but because I had allowed myself to lose perspective.  The problem that had me so worked up was energy spent poorly.  There were solutions in front of me but I choose to focus only on the problem.  Bill afforded me the opportunity to get back on track and I thank him for his perspective. 

While I didn’t know Bill as well as I would have liked, he will remain with me for life.  He is a special man who afforded me the gift of perspective.

Apologies

The public apology seems to be fully in vogue.  With the recent arrests of several (more) NFL players there is the obligatory public apology issued.  Usually this statement is released by the players agent and seems to be a “cover all bases” type of apology.  No heart felt remorse.  No drilling down to a fundamental problem with the need to address.  More like “I’m sorry that I got caught” sentiment.

Has the apology lost it’s value?  Can we offer a better opton in our lives?  Must every problem be managed with an automatic apology that seems more mechanical than real? 

When I read that a person that was caught for a third time has issued an apology (again) I find it hard to believe that they mean what they say or will work to stay out of trouble.  If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.  Actions do speak louder than words.